i have stepped into a puddle of quicksand.
and slowly, i retreat back into the earth.
--
there would never be another you, who sheltered me through every storm.
i am only one - i have two arms, two legs, one body and a head. my two eyes cannot see more than what is around and ahead of me; my two ears cannot hear what is not spoken; my mouth cannot express what i know not of; my hands cannot do more than what my ten fingers can; my feet cannot carry me further than where my will can; and i cannot do more than one can do.
nobody can hurt me more than i allow them to. yet of all people, i hurt myself the most.
--
running nose and sunburnt face do no go together very well.
--
im hanging on the edge, waiting to fall off.
the only reason why im not breaking down, is because i know i have so many expectations to live up too, so many responsibilities to fulfill, and so much work to catch up with. i cant afford such disruptions in my life now.
--
i woke up this morning thinking that i was going to die - i overslept. i had barely enough rest the night before. my head was spinning. my stomach felt queasy, and i felt like throwing up. i considered taking half a bottle of pills. i considered skipping school but that would be too irresponsible of me. i had a huge stack of notes to collect before my tutorial class. i had a booth to set up, a few hundred flyers to print, a banner to touch up, and a friend whom i have let down. i had no breakfast, no time, and nobody except me and my sick self.
--
i really wonder what kind of freaking situation have i landed myself in. :(
--
the word 'nice' is something you use to describe somebody whom you dont know well.
having responsibilities means that your life is no longer yours alone. hence, the consequences of your actions will not just affect youself, but also the people around you.
responsbility forces you to move on with life.
--
yes, i need to feel like i am alive again.
that i am a person who is defined by my personality traits and not the tasks that i perform, or the roles that i assume; that i am governed by what i feel and what i think, and not how people expect me to act; that life shouldnt be a pain, but a priviledge.
red, is such a seductive colour.
--
life always has its ups and down.
but there are some people who tend to be very needy and seemingly depressed all the time, and they dont understand the implications (of being so) on the people around them.
--keeping busy is the best way to keep your mind off things.
--
now its back to basics again.
i have been experiencing some slight problems in posting, and this explains the lack of new entries for the past one week plus.
it has been a extremely exhausting week for me - staying up through the nights to rush my event proposals and preparing for my midterm papers at the same time, not to forget the departure of a good friend. i thought it would be a long week ahead and that i would never be able to pull through it in one piece. but guess what, the week is over and the weekend is, to my relief, finally here. which also explains why i am able to make a post here - cos i can finally find some time to fix the problem and reflect on myself.
tough times never last, but tough people do - everybody survives eventually.
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